Reunion

So I was just asked by my high school to summarize the last 20 years of my life. (reunion coming up). Here's my shot:

Let's see, we graduated in 1988. What have I done since then? Went to college, dropped out of college, got married, got divorced, started working in journalism, lived in Boston, moved to New York, moved to LA, launched a bunch of NPR shows, got married again, moved back to D.C., covered three wars, 9/11, London, never learned another language, did learn how to fortify a house, made many friends, and stayed close to some I had in high school.

I am no longer surprised at how inventive and eager people are when engaged in slaughtering each other. Saddened, but not really surprised anymore. Wars are terribly frightening, incredibly loud and absolutely exhilirating. Militaries are inherently duplicitous, and soldiers are pretty cool, on the whole, often shockingly brilliant. Everybody lies, especially to themselves. And while there are some true bastards out there, on the whole, people are fairly decent.

I've tried to become a good man, and a good husband, and a good friend. Depending what day it is I sometimes think I've been successful. I've done things I am ashamed of, and tried over and over to do things that I'm proud of, again with mixed success. I haven't written that novel I always told myself I would, and that kinda bugs me. But I can bake bread from scratch, and I make a mean paella. I still smoke, which sucks, and I still want to learn to fly an airplane. I have weaknesses for video games, science fiction, and movies where things blow up. I also still write bad poetry on occasion, and it's just as much fun as it was in high school.

I am married to the most incredible woman I have ever met, who is really completely out of my league in so many ways it is sometimes intimidating. But I love her in a way that as a somewhat obnoxious adolescent convinced I knew all the ways of the human heart I couldn't even conceive. I argue with myself constantly about whether I believe in God. I think I do. The fact that I am with her I can only attribute to providence.

I have a very cool job. Basically I can do stories on whatever catches my interest, if I can sell it to someone. I am constantly learning how to be better at what I do. I am one of the best in the world at certain odd tasks, and I work with people who are better than I am. NPR is a stunning, magical place that reminds me of Commonwealth at times. And the company has encouraged and enabled me to do things I only dreamed of in high school. And I have the journalist's escape at boring parties, you just start interviewing people. Everyone has a couple good nuggets.

I remember clearly one note I got in Mrs. Kaplan's Modern European History class. "Jeff needs to learn that "What happened next?" is not an historical question." That is probably true, but it is most definitely a journalistc one and I've been fortunate enough to have spent my professional life getting paid to answer it.

No kids yet, though they'll probably be in the picture soon. I'm basically happy, have meaningful work, and people who love me. I get frustrated with myself with enough regularity that I don't coast too often. Not too bad.

I'm sitting in Baghdad as I write this. The sky for the past few days has been a sinister and surreal orange due to sandstorms. When I breathe I can taste the talcum fine dust of this place. I am trying not to think about the percentage of human waste contained within it. I'm not sure if I'll be able to make it to the reunion, I hope so, but if I don't, I can, in all honesty, blame this fucking war.